I didn't write this. A guy named Calence Emerson from San Jose, CA did. I somehow stumbled on this through another web page. The page it was hosted on no longer exists as far as I know.
The guy is only 29... and I'd say he has a great perspective on how one should live their life. If I can attain an outlook like he describes, I would consider that one of my greatest achievements. It is kind of long but worth it... Enjoy!
Unconditional Love
First of all, romantic relationships shouldn't be more work than any
friendship/personal relationship. If they are, there's a problem with
the foundation. And if your regular friendships require no work, you've
stopped moving forward.
When I'm in a relationship with someone,I run into the same problem every time. I don't have any interest whatsoever in controlling any aspect of anyone's life, and people don't like that. If they want to sleep over at a friend's house for a few days - guy or girl - I don't mind. Why would I? My personal philosophy on romantic relationships is that if there are rules added to interrupt the way either person would normally live their life, it's not going to work.
I don't argue, I don't yell, I don't degrade people. I don't get jealous - at all, ever. What is jealousy? When I find someone amazing, who makes ME feel amazing, I want EVERYONE they know to experience that feeling. I don't understand the concept of wanting to keep others from experiencing someone amazing. It's completely backwards to me.
I've got infinite patience, I can switch into friend mode at any time, I don't give unwanted advice, I can sit in silence with someone if that's what they need. I am not motivated by sex (sorry, people). I could hold someone all night, and never even think one impure thought. Even if I was interested in them. And I happen to like it that way.
I am content with my life and I know my purpose. If I am in a relationship with someone who doesn't know how to realize their purpose, there is always a risk that they will give up their path to follow me down mine. I do not want anyone to give up their dream to follow me! My ideal partner would be someone who would be willing to leave to follow their dream if our paths to our personal destiny no longer crossed. I want someone willing to let go when it's necessary.
I don't have "bad breakups." I've remained friends with everyone I have ever been with. Jaqi couldn't handle my transition, so she recently walked away from about 11 years of friendship but at least she was honest with herself about it. I can't help it if people are closed minded and brainwashed by the Dogma of Christianity. I can't help the fact that she doesn't want her family to know what I've done with my life. She can't stand up for herself, and that again is not my fault. My best friend is someone I was in a relationship with for a while - and she chose to walk down the path to her dreams which meant breaking up with me. And I'm proud of her for doing that. She married a wonderful man and has two beautiful children that I never could have given her. It has always been her dream to be a mother - and now she is. Because she followed her own dream NOT mine. And we are still as close as ever - even closer.
I don't get jealous or upset if someone I'm with is physically close with other people. Yes, there is a difference between connection and cheating. I
don't expect anyone to give up their closeness with anyone for any reason. Ever.
Learn to Love. Seriously.
I have been thinking about writing an article for my book on the ways
people control each other that is considered normal and is somehow
widely considered "acceptable."
I'll start with a quote I just read. I won't say where, though.
"I have no pictures [of him], my ex made me destroy them all."
Why do so many people submit to this kind of control and call it "love?" That's not love. That's control. And once again, it goes back to the subject of attachment and the jealousy that arises when people feel that they are going to lose someone.
The majority of people I have known in my life have stories similar to the above quote. When they enter into a new relationship, their partner coerces them into destroying everything that has to do with their ex partners. Photographs, letters, gifts, clothing, etc. They feel threatened. And the other person complies because they feel like they will lose their new partner if they don't.
Another form of control that is just beyond my scope of understanding is when people don't allow their partner to talk freely and openly with them if there is mention of a past partner. They just don't want to hear it. They want to be the world to one person, and if there is anyone else in this world who ever meant anything to their partner they feel threatened once again. Even if it is in the far past.
"If you loved me you'd burn those letters and photos."
"If you love me you won't talk about him."
And
they're left with no choice but to submit. Why? Because they feel as
though their relationship with their current partner depends on it.
... but is it worth it?
You can't erase the past. When you commit to love someone you are commiting to love that person as a whole - not just bits and pieces. Sure, some parts may be painful. But when you exert that kind of control over people you aren't helping your partner feel comfortable being open with you. You're actually closing them off more and forcing them to sneak around.
And what will you do when your current partner hides their photographs and letters instead of burning them? You'll probably find them one day and feel betrayed. But the betrayal lies not within your partner. No, the betrayal lies within you for trying to force control over their life.
... why can't people just love. Openly, honestly... in the moment, without trying to control or change the person they supposedly love?
If you are the kind of person who demands that your new partner destroy all memories with their past partners who came before you, those photographs and letters may mean more to that person than they will ever let on. If you ask someone to destroy something like that, chances are you are killing a piece of their soul. New memories don't overshadow old ones, they simply add to a person's life to make them more complete. As their new partner, you will never be to them what their past partners have been. And that's okay. Why? Because you are not those people. You are you. You can't be anyone BUT you. So why try? We need as many people in our lives as possible.
You don't have to stamp out everyone and everything that means something to your partner in order to feel loved and appreciated. Your partner can love and appreciate you for who you are - and at the same time, still love and appreciate other people in their life.
See, I don't care what anyone says - I am friends with nearly all of my past partners. And the ones I don't talk to - I just never see. I didn't kick them out of my life. We didn't have a falling out. We drifted apart to different cities, states, etc. just the same as friends do sometimes. If I saw them again there wouldn't be any tension. And I realize that is a hard concept for most people to grasp. I also understand that is one of the things people say to "watch out" for with guys. Because according to most people, guys can't be just friends with their exes. But I'd like to say that I am not the only exception to this rule. It's because I have learned how to develop healthy relationships with people that are not dependent on pain, control and jealousy. I CAN be friends with my exes, and I'd like to see someone try to stop me.
If you find yourself trying to control your partner by asking them to stop talking to certain people, stop hanging out with certain friends, cut of communication with their exes, destroy their photos and letters - no matter how mushy they may be - please take a look at your own life and try to find your own insecurities in the situation. The problem does not lie with those letters and photographs. The problem lies with you.
When you love someone, you should love them for who they are and all of their connections they have with the many diverse people in their life. You have to understand that forcing someone to stop talking about things that are important to them just because it makes you feel threatened or jealous - is not healthy. Not only does it hurt the other person because you've just put up a giant wall for them, but it hurts the relationship all together.
Instead of trying to force your partner to stop talking about people and situations you are jealous of, try to overcome that jealousy and see it for what it truly is: insecurity based on unhealthy attachment; the fear of losing something you have - simply because you expect to lose it at the drop of a hat.
Don't go through people's phones, address books, email, etc. It doesn't matter if it's your partner or not. You are not entitled to their personal space just because you are romantically involved with them. And even if they give you permission, think about why they are giving you permission. Did you ask? Because if you ask your partner if you can go through their personal space, there is a chance they only said yes to avoid a bigger conflict.
You don't have to share passwords and bank accounts and phones with someone just because they are your partner. If both people want to, then by all means go for it! But sometimes people like their independence and freedom in those areas. If that's how your partner feels, it doesn't mean they don't trust you or love you. It doesn't mean they are hiding something, either. It just means they enjoy their independence and privacy.
Learn to love, people.
Learn to love people.
Unconditionally.
Just as no one can hold other people responsible for their failures, no one can hold other people responsible for their success. It seems like an odd thing to say at first - because we all know that people can and do greatly affect our lives. But above all else, it is ultimately up to us to choose what we do.
In essence, I've taught myself to love through the opportunities I've been given.
Attachment. It's normal for people to form attachments to people and things. But it creates a cycle of suffering for all involved. As humans, we are never satisfied. When we don't get what we want, we suffer. When we get what we DON'T want, we suffer. Even when we get EXACTLY what we want, we STILL suffer because we can't hold onto it forever. And, when we have a long list of attachments we feel we need in order to be happy... if just one of them goes unmet, it tends to overshadow the ones that have been met and, once again, we suffer.
When I say I love you - I am not looking for your approval. I am not merely trying to make a difference in your life to be special to you. I am who I am. You are who you are. And I don't need to be constantly told that I am special to you. There was a time when I felt as though I needed that
reassurance from those in my life. I wanted to feel important, special, recognized, loved. But it's not something that can be felt through words. How do I know you care about me? I feel it. Spiritually. I see it in your eyes. I hear it in your voice. I feel it when you hug me. I see and hear the way you care about others in much the same way. It's a part of you, and all that you do - not the motions you go through by tossing words around.
I now recognize how people become dependent on others for recognition and reassurance - and how the cycle of control begins. If I build you up with a million compliments - which are nothing more than my opinion - you become dependent on those compliments and find yourself living to please me just so that my image of you won't change. And so begins the cycle of pain and control.
When I tell you how amazing you are, it is not based on anything you do for me. Although you do a lot for me, if you stopped tomorrow I would still see you as absolutely amazing. It's because I really see you for who you are. Whether I "benefit" from your kindness and love - you are still incredibly beautiful. If you walked out of my life tomorrow it would be extremely painful naturally... but if that became your chosen path I would not see you as any less beautiful.
You are free to believe the way you believe, walk the path you walk, indulge in what you enjoy and be who you are - whatever that may entail. If today I applaud you for an accomplishment - and tomorrow you renounce that passion, I shall applaud your new passions, whatever they may be. It's not the content of what you do that I love - it's the passion you put into it, the amount of yourself that you put into them.
It doesn't matter what you do, only how well you do it.
I hold no desires. If I hold a desire for something, my happiness will depend on attaining that desire. If I do not attain that desire, I will suffer. Once again, the pain of attachment and desire can enter the picture and take control.
I don't want to bring you up with praise today and then send you crashing down tomorrow if I disagree with something you believe. I don't want you to think that I will love you any less if you disagree with me on even the most important issues in my life. I pray that I never put you in a position where you become dependent on my praise to feel important. I don't ever want you to form an opinion of yourself based on what I do or do not say about you or to you. Although I do wish for you to form an amazingly strong and solid opinion of yourself... I want you to find it within yourself from your perspective.
As much as we try not to become dependent on others for our self-image we also have to make sure we try not to create situations in which others become dependent on us for their self-image.
It's true that compliments and complaints are one and the same - someone else's opinion of us. We can listen to them but once we accept them we have accepted someone else's opinion of us and we allow it to define us. If we agree with compliments it boosts our ego. If we agree with complaints and negative comments it drives us into the ground.
I've learned how to love through the unconditional acceptance and love that you have shown to me. When I say the word love, I mean that deep, spiritual love that just exists on a level the ego cannot touch.
I want you to have strong, deep connections with as many people in your life as you possibly can. I want you to share your love, your kindness and compassion with all the people you have in your life. I want people to know you like I do. I want others to see into your soul the way I can. I hope you give them that oportunity.
I never fully learned how to appreciate the concept of living in the moment until I experienced what I have experienced having you in my life throughout just the last few months. I understood the concept but couldn't put it into practice. And now I do it every day. Not just with you - with everyone else in my life, too. It's wonderful.
Before we got really close, I asked Spirit to show me how to love without attachment., how to maintain the kind of connection we have without forming the unhealthy attachment that creates suffering and destruction. And all my prayers were answered. And I can apply it to everyone else in my life. Other situations, too.
I'm not going to say that no one else can make me feel the way you do.
Plenty of people contribute to the joy in my life. And you're one of them.
I'm not going to say that I care about you more than I've ever cared about anyone in my life. I care about everyone equally and truly. I love everyone in my life with all of my heart, including you.
But I will say that you are the first person I have been able to love so completely and purely - but not because of you - because of me. I wasn't capable before. And I'm just glad that you are in my life now... because a few years ago I wouldn't have been able to be so real.
I love you for who you are - in this moment, every moment, from now and for always. Whatever parts of you change - opinions, beliefs, desires, ideas... it doesn't matter - because everything we do, everything we say, what we like and dislike - is all subject to change. All that is external and has nothing to do with your core existence.
I was going to make this private, but... something tells me someone else may get something out of this. So I revived it and reposted it. I don't know why, but here it is.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
The Nature Of Suffering
There are stories of people coming to the Buddha and saying, "I am leaving your teaching because you have not told me whether there is a life after death or whether there is another world."
The Buddha says, "Did I ever say I would give you the answer to these things?"
His follower responds, "No Lord you didn't."
The Buddha says, "Why do you think that I never said that I would give you the answers to these things? Because these are not the things you need to know. The thing that you need to know is how to deal with suffering. Because at this very moment what made you ask that question was suffering."
Buddhism is interesting because it is so similar in its teachings to Christianity. For instance, Christianity has the Devil/Lucifer/Satan. You can see him consistently tempting people throughout scripture. He has almost a direct correlation to Lord Mara (The God of Desire) in the Buddhist scriptures. Buddhism teaches that desire, cravings, attachments, and resisting 'what is' leads to suffering. This is also evident in Christianity with one of the earliest and most recognizable scriptures in the Bible...
When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.
It was then that the Lord made childbearing painful, food scarce, and banished them both from the Garden of Eden. Buddhism is a little more direct (less story telling) with its teachings on the subject. The concept is decently explained in this clip:
Dan Millman said, "Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens. Events may create physical pain, but they do not in themselves create suffering. Resistance creates suffering. Stress happens when your mind resists what is. The only problem in your life is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds."
The scene below is from the movie The Peaceful Warrior which is based on Dan Millmans book "Way of the Peaceful Warrior", and is modern spin on how cravings and resisting 'what is' leads to suffering:
Resistance to that which is causes stress. What causes that habitual resistance? Lack of self. The pain and suffering we feel merely dictates that we are insecure, we need to grow, and that we have problems that need to be addressed. If you break your arm it becomes instantly apparent that you have a problem that needs to be addressed. Emotional pain is no different... we just tend to ignore the obvious signs, or place blame on other people or things instead of facing reality. One common way we do this is by constructing our present reality with overlays of another moment in time which has already passed or has yet to come.
They say living the past will doom you to repeat it. Why is this? Because we relegate our current weaknesses and insecurities to the past instead of dealing with them in the here and now. Anything that you're worried might happen in the future is merely a projection of your current state based on past experiences. Simply put, your view of the future is a prediction based on past experiences you have not yet come to terms with. The future and the past are one and the same, and focusing on them will only serve as a crutch to you. It is the basis for why the things we fear tend to become reality; Why thinking about screwing up usually causes just that.
I've never cared much for the dogma that is pervasive in religions. I feel that it ultimately distances us from the true message. To me that message is loud and clear. My purpose in this world is growth. Like all living things, if I am not growing them I am dieing. That growth only comes from embracing change and most importantly having faith in yourself. If there is one thing that I and so many other people in this world lack, it is faith in ourselves. Fear of loss, fear of change, and fear of what is to come, can only be conquered by believing in yourself first. The only true courage is having faith in one's self. In fact, I'll be bold and assert that finding faith in yourself is much harder than finding it in God, or a God. This isn't dictated in the message as much as it is dictated by the message itself. A student makes his teacher proud by embodying the lessons they've been taught, not by praising the master.
"Believe in what He tried to teach without the rigmarole. Piety is not what the lesson bring to people, it's the mistakes they bring to the lessons." - (John Oldman: The Man from Earth)
The best things in life never come easy.
The Buddha says, "Did I ever say I would give you the answer to these things?"
His follower responds, "No Lord you didn't."
The Buddha says, "Why do you think that I never said that I would give you the answers to these things? Because these are not the things you need to know. The thing that you need to know is how to deal with suffering. Because at this very moment what made you ask that question was suffering."
Buddhism is interesting because it is so similar in its teachings to Christianity. For instance, Christianity has the Devil/Lucifer/Satan. You can see him consistently tempting people throughout scripture. He has almost a direct correlation to Lord Mara (The God of Desire) in the Buddhist scriptures. Buddhism teaches that desire, cravings, attachments, and resisting 'what is' leads to suffering. This is also evident in Christianity with one of the earliest and most recognizable scriptures in the Bible...
When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.
It was then that the Lord made childbearing painful, food scarce, and banished them both from the Garden of Eden. Buddhism is a little more direct (less story telling) with its teachings on the subject. The concept is decently explained in this clip:
Dan Millman said, "Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens. Events may create physical pain, but they do not in themselves create suffering. Resistance creates suffering. Stress happens when your mind resists what is. The only problem in your life is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds."
The scene below is from the movie The Peaceful Warrior which is based on Dan Millmans book "Way of the Peaceful Warrior", and is modern spin on how cravings and resisting 'what is' leads to suffering:
Resistance to that which is causes stress. What causes that habitual resistance? Lack of self. The pain and suffering we feel merely dictates that we are insecure, we need to grow, and that we have problems that need to be addressed. If you break your arm it becomes instantly apparent that you have a problem that needs to be addressed. Emotional pain is no different... we just tend to ignore the obvious signs, or place blame on other people or things instead of facing reality. One common way we do this is by constructing our present reality with overlays of another moment in time which has already passed or has yet to come.
They say living the past will doom you to repeat it. Why is this? Because we relegate our current weaknesses and insecurities to the past instead of dealing with them in the here and now. Anything that you're worried might happen in the future is merely a projection of your current state based on past experiences. Simply put, your view of the future is a prediction based on past experiences you have not yet come to terms with. The future and the past are one and the same, and focusing on them will only serve as a crutch to you. It is the basis for why the things we fear tend to become reality; Why thinking about screwing up usually causes just that.
I've never cared much for the dogma that is pervasive in religions. I feel that it ultimately distances us from the true message. To me that message is loud and clear. My purpose in this world is growth. Like all living things, if I am not growing them I am dieing. That growth only comes from embracing change and most importantly having faith in yourself. If there is one thing that I and so many other people in this world lack, it is faith in ourselves. Fear of loss, fear of change, and fear of what is to come, can only be conquered by believing in yourself first. The only true courage is having faith in one's self. In fact, I'll be bold and assert that finding faith in yourself is much harder than finding it in God, or a God. This isn't dictated in the message as much as it is dictated by the message itself. A student makes his teacher proud by embodying the lessons they've been taught, not by praising the master.
"Believe in what He tried to teach without the rigmarole. Piety is not what the lesson bring to people, it's the mistakes they bring to the lessons." - (John Oldman: The Man from Earth)
The best things in life never come easy.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Vibram Five Finger KSO Review
So I bought a pair of these the other day at REI:
I went for a mile and a half in these new shoes... not sure if thats the right term for them. The reason I got these shoes is because I thought I was getting compartment syndrome along the Peroneus Longus muscle (outer calve muscle) and thought it might help with that. Furthermore, I pound my heel on the ground when I walk (from ROTC and marching) and I figured the shoes would help train myself to walk more evenly. Overall, I believe I have poor running technique and think the shoes will help drastically.
After the run I did notice that my calf muscles were sore. However, it's not like the soreness you get from doing calf presses at the gym. It is more like the pain you get in the inner forearm from doing rock climbing. I don't think I can explain it any other way... the pain is just different.
This is a very interesting video...
I went for a mile and a half in these new shoes... not sure if thats the right term for them. The reason I got these shoes is because I thought I was getting compartment syndrome along the Peroneus Longus muscle (outer calve muscle) and thought it might help with that. Furthermore, I pound my heel on the ground when I walk (from ROTC and marching) and I figured the shoes would help train myself to walk more evenly. Overall, I believe I have poor running technique and think the shoes will help drastically.
Now, on to what I noticed while running. I had a preconceived notion that I would have to consciously think about running on the balls of my feet with these things on my first run... especially considering my strong heel strike when walking. That was not the case at all. Immediately as I started running, I noticed that I ever so slightly was contacting the ground with the balls of my feet instead of my heel. I didn't expect that at all. Furthermore, the effort required to run seemed reduced. I think this is a combination between lighter footwear and more efficient energy usage. What I mean by the latter, is that energy is being stored in the leg muscles, ligaments, and tendons as the foot strikes the ground instead of absorbed by the skeletal structure of your body. Then, that ground impact energy is reused as you propell yourself forward. Which in turn, reduces the energy required for each step allowing you to go longer and faster with less effort.
During the run I did notice blisters starting to form on both my large toes. I don't see this as a negative since I expected it. After a few treks I will have calyces and blisters will be a nonissue. On a side note, I knowingly bought these shoes one size larger. I think I'm going to go back and get a size smaller. I just think they will function a little better that way.After the run I did notice that my calf muscles were sore. However, it's not like the soreness you get from doing calf presses at the gym. It is more like the pain you get in the inner forearm from doing rock climbing. I don't think I can explain it any other way... the pain is just different.
The most important part of all this, I didn't feel any knee pain or compartment syndrome pain. My magic eight ball says, "Outlook looks good."
This is a very interesting video...
... I didn't know quadrupeds couldn't pant and gallop at the same time.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Simple Sugars For Your Waistline
I get a lot of questions about fitness and working out. People like to talk to me about what I've done, what I haven't done, what they've done, what they think, and their philosophy on the whole thing is. People rarely talk about nutrition though, and it really is the bottom line to fitness. There isn't a lot of point in walking on a treadmill for an hour, then scarfing down a Honey Bun with a Starbucks White Chocolate Mocha Frappuccino to go on the side. It seems as if people miss or ignore the obvious things. One of those being:
Calories In > Calories Out = Increased Weight
The 500 calories you burned walking on the treadmill for an hour isn't going to offset that Big Mac (mmm good though!), Large Fry, and Coke. Dean Karnazes ate 28,000 calories during a 48hr ultramarathon one time and lost weight. Thats 2 weeks worth of food on a standard 2000 calorie diet. How is that possible? Easy, he burned more than 28,000 calories.
However, a surplus in calories is an over simplification of the problem in my opinion. I think the two biggest issues are ignorance and nutritional brainwashing. Lets take something simple like drinking a can of Coca Cola and analyze the process:
How about this idea that Lean Pockets or Healthy Choice TV dinners are good for you. Besides the massive amounts of sodium you will find in these things, you will also find 5-10 teaspoons of sugar in them. If it comes in a plastic package tucked away in a nice box chances are it is highly processed garbage devoid of nutrients and full of salt and simple sugars.
What is the solution to all of this? I really don't know. Crappy food is everywhere you look. Subway, while better than McDonalds is still highly processed for the sake of taste, looks, and shelf life. Heck, we label sticking a frozen pizza in the oven as, "Making dinner." People wonder why diabetes is such a huge problem now. It's obvious, look how much sugar is being consumed by people. Your body after a while starts building up a resistance to insulin which increases your risk of getting type 2 diabetes.
I'll be honest. The best I have ever felt was on a low carb, high protein, and medium fat diet. I was lean, strong, and full of energy. Starting January 1st I am going to be trying my modified version of the Caveman Diet. It is essentially unprocessed lean meats, fish, nuts, seeds, vegetables, and fruits. The idea is that as Homo Sapiens we evolved to a diet like this and not one with massive amounts of sodium and highly processed carbohydrates. I'm curious to see what the end results are for this diet.
I'm not a food Nazi. I love me a Big Mac every once in a while but, the common ideas about what is good or isn't good floating around are laughable. That 1200 calorie shake at the Jack Shack looks pretty tasty though...
Calories In > Calories Out = Increased Weight
The 500 calories you burned walking on the treadmill for an hour isn't going to offset that Big Mac (mmm good though!), Large Fry, and Coke. Dean Karnazes ate 28,000 calories during a 48hr ultramarathon one time and lost weight. Thats 2 weeks worth of food on a standard 2000 calorie diet. How is that possible? Easy, he burned more than 28,000 calories.
However, a surplus in calories is an over simplification of the problem in my opinion. I think the two biggest issues are ignorance and nutritional brainwashing. Lets take something simple like drinking a can of Coca Cola and analyze the process:
- First off, it contains 10 teaspoons of sugar which is 100% of a standard persons recommended daily intake. The phosphoric acid in the coke helps keep you from throwing up such a large amount of sugar.
- The entire calorie content of that soda will be metabolized within 30 minutes since the main ingredient in the drink is High Fructose Corn Syrup. It is easily broken down and absorbed by the body.
- During the metabolization process your blood sugar spikes and large amounts of the hormone insulin flood your system. That insulin tells your body to stop burning fat and start using sugar for energy in an effort to balance out your blood sugar levels. However, if you're the average American your energy stores are full so that sugar gets converted to fat for storage around your body.
- Your blood pressure rises because of the Caffeine.
- Dopamine is released so you feel a high.
- Your metabolism is increased. That burger and fries you just ate are now absorbed even faster.
- Calcium and other minerals bind to the phosphoric acid.
- Caffeine's diuretic properties cause you to pee. Therefore, you expell much needed water, calcium, zinc, magnesium, and other needed nutrients through your urine.
- Eventually you have a sugar crash and start feeling tired and irritable.
- Because there is a lag in insulin regulation your blood sugar drops lower than it should which has the adverse effect of increasing your appetite so you can repeat this whole cycle again.
How about this idea that Lean Pockets or Healthy Choice TV dinners are good for you. Besides the massive amounts of sodium you will find in these things, you will also find 5-10 teaspoons of sugar in them. If it comes in a plastic package tucked away in a nice box chances are it is highly processed garbage devoid of nutrients and full of salt and simple sugars.
What is the solution to all of this? I really don't know. Crappy food is everywhere you look. Subway, while better than McDonalds is still highly processed for the sake of taste, looks, and shelf life. Heck, we label sticking a frozen pizza in the oven as, "Making dinner." People wonder why diabetes is such a huge problem now. It's obvious, look how much sugar is being consumed by people. Your body after a while starts building up a resistance to insulin which increases your risk of getting type 2 diabetes.
I'll be honest. The best I have ever felt was on a low carb, high protein, and medium fat diet. I was lean, strong, and full of energy. Starting January 1st I am going to be trying my modified version of the Caveman Diet. It is essentially unprocessed lean meats, fish, nuts, seeds, vegetables, and fruits. The idea is that as Homo Sapiens we evolved to a diet like this and not one with massive amounts of sodium and highly processed carbohydrates. I'm curious to see what the end results are for this diet.
I'm not a food Nazi. I love me a Big Mac every once in a while but, the common ideas about what is good or isn't good floating around are laughable. That 1200 calorie shake at the Jack Shack looks pretty tasty though...
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Out With The Bullshit... In With The Truth
It was Socrates that said, "The unexamined life is not worth living."
I unequivicably agree with his statement. I don't think truer words could be said. It is because of this statement and others like it that this year has been the most defining in my entire life. Had my thought process on things been different it is highly probable that I would be saying the exact opposite right now; That this year was the worst in my life.
What changed? The way I examine my life with respect to the world around me. For a while now I've been on a quest for truth, knowledge, and wisdom. It just so happens that everything came together this year. What I didn't see coming was all the life tests. It's as if God said, "So you think you've learned something? Well... lets see how well you do applying it."
I've been a member of a body building forum for a while now. Lately, I've been getting various private messages from people asking for my input on things. It's become appallingly clear to me that I and so many other people in this world have been force fed bullshit. The body building forum is rampant with statements like, "I'll be happy when I lose 20lbs" or "I'll be happy when I look like this guy." A while back I was playing poker in Lake Charles and I caught myself saying, "I deserve to win this hand." One of my all time favorites is, "The government owes me..." Life owes you nothing. We're not entitled to anything. You have as much money as you MUST have. You have the love that you MUST have. You have the happiness that you MUST have. You have the life that you MUST have. Life doesn't owe you these things, you owe them to yourself. You want more money? Get a second job, find a higher paying job, or go back to school. You want love? First, learn to love yourself, then find someone of equal value. You want to be happy and you want a better life? Make a choice and start living like it. Make those things a MUST instead of a SHOULD. We always get our MUSTS but we SHOULD all over ourselves.
Where does all this bullshit come from? They are all beliefs and therefore are a product of your mind or better yet... conditioning. We believe that touching a hot stove with our hand will hurt. Break it down, it is simply math:
Hot Stove + Hand = Pain
Where did this belief come from? Chances are when we were a kid we put our hand on a hot stove, it burned, and we felt pain. What is another one? How about fighting with a sibling. Chances are you got in a fight with your sibling and you got spanked by Mom or Dad. So...
Sibling + Fighting = Pain/Wrong/Spanked
Both of these are products of conditioning. When you are first born you know nothing. A baby knows nothing and its curiosity is marvelous. They wan't to touch everything in sight. They are the quintessential learning machine. I would venture to say that children are inherently perfect. Children are great teachers of clarity; We should model them to an extent. A child will be upset one minute and pefectly content the next. Children don't hold grudges. Children operate with a clear mind; They don't hold onto emotions and let them purposefuly dictate their actions.
As we grow older we get corrupted by society. I doubt a one year old looks in the mirror and says, "I have baby fat and I won't be happy until I lose it." That belief is predicated on culture/environment. There are perfect cultural examples where being overweight is good. Have you ever seen one of those Buddha statues where he is overweight and happy? The media does a good job with conditioning. It is no stretch to the imagination why Happy Meals are called exactly that. You probably wont see your favorite sports star with a frowny face when they're advertising something on TV. Parental figures (role models) play the biggest role. They are the ultimate filter. If your role models put great emphasis on physical appearance, chances are you will to. The same goes with money, sports, religion, materialism, and hundreds of other things.
There are so many things that we have been taught (like the stuff in the paragraph above) that is just garbage. All of it corrupts the mind. All of it clouds the true nature of things. Nothing has any meaning except that which we give it. Pain? There are some people in the world that feel no physical pain. Sound? What meaning does sound have to a deaf person? Don't underestimate the minds ability to make sense of bullshit...
The mnid is an azniamg mhaince but, it in iletsf connat be tsetrud. You msut dineetrme waht is rael and waht is bsihllut.
Unisg the icndeblire pweor of the hmuan mnid, aocdcrnig to rseecrah at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mttaer in waht oderr the lterets in a wrod are, the olny irpoamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rhgit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whoutit a pboerlm. Tihs is bucseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey ltteer by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Don't take things at face value. The true nature of things only comes by asking the right questions. The clip below is a perfect example of that:
Lets take an easy one. Why do you style your hair a certain way? Some typical responses might be, "I like it this way", "It looks cool", or "The girls/guys like it." Those are all viable answers but, they are all crappy. So you formulate a better question: "Why do you care whether girls/guys like it?" A good response might be... "Because it makes me feel good." Why does it make you feel good? Now you start getting into the true nature of things. Questions like these tend to evoke anger in people because the truth hurts. It signifies that they are broken, that they aren't who they would like to think they are, and that a real change is necessary. As I stated in my previous blog, people hate change.
The mind is a funny thing. It will answer whatever questions you ask it. Poor questions will come with poor answers. If you ask yourself why you failed a test you'll probably get answers like, "I'm dumb", "The teacher sucks", or "I'm lazy." None of those answers are very empowering. However, if you ask yourself: How can I make an A on the next test? You might come up with answers like, "I'll get a study group", "I'll put in extra hours", "I'll study every day instead of cramming." You have to recondition yourself to come up with better questions. I saw a guy on the body building forum asking something like, "Why does being short suck?" That's another question that stems from all the bullshit above. Being short doesn't suck but, he's conditioned himself to think it does. Maybe he should ask, "How might being short be beneficial?" Lets see... you can climb mountains better, you can move weight easier (physics), its easier to look bulkier, and you can probably do "the limbo" better than a tall person.
Do you see where all this ties in? Bullshit beliefs, lead to bullshit questions, which lead to bullshit answers. What is so amazing is that the real truth can stare us in the face and we just ignore it. The conditioning is that strong, that corrupt, and has perverted us that bad. Think about it...
Millions of dollars = happiness
Movie star looks = happiness
Being famous = happiness
A house, car, wife, and kids = happiness
If all of that is even remotely true then why do we have shows like celebrity rehab? Why are so many people that have all these things so miserable? Why is someone like Britney Spears so unhappy? If all the above is true... why was Gandhi so happy?
Start getting rid of the bullshit. Become like a child again. Be aware of your feelings and what they are really telling you. Be mindful of your thoughts, less you become those thoughts. The habit/conditioning is the problem. All you have to do is be conscious of your thoughts and actions, and accept responsibility for them. Take out the trash and replace it with the truth...
Get rid of all the bullshit. Get rid of every limiting thought someone has told you or that you believe about yourself. Get rid of all the bullshit people have told you about who you are, what you can do, what you can't do, how you're suppose to be, and what dreams you're capable of and which ones you aren't. Become like a child again: clear, happy, and limitless.
Jesus was once asked, "Who is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven?" He responds by showing them that the way to greatness is to become like children. If you study Buddhism you'll notice the same truth. It's not a truth about religion but a truth about how to live your life. Free your mind.
Do you want the blue pill... or the red one?
I unequivicably agree with his statement. I don't think truer words could be said. It is because of this statement and others like it that this year has been the most defining in my entire life. Had my thought process on things been different it is highly probable that I would be saying the exact opposite right now; That this year was the worst in my life.
What changed? The way I examine my life with respect to the world around me. For a while now I've been on a quest for truth, knowledge, and wisdom. It just so happens that everything came together this year. What I didn't see coming was all the life tests. It's as if God said, "So you think you've learned something? Well... lets see how well you do applying it."
I've been a member of a body building forum for a while now. Lately, I've been getting various private messages from people asking for my input on things. It's become appallingly clear to me that I and so many other people in this world have been force fed bullshit. The body building forum is rampant with statements like, "I'll be happy when I lose 20lbs" or "I'll be happy when I look like this guy." A while back I was playing poker in Lake Charles and I caught myself saying, "I deserve to win this hand." One of my all time favorites is, "The government owes me..." Life owes you nothing. We're not entitled to anything. You have as much money as you MUST have. You have the love that you MUST have. You have the happiness that you MUST have. You have the life that you MUST have. Life doesn't owe you these things, you owe them to yourself. You want more money? Get a second job, find a higher paying job, or go back to school. You want love? First, learn to love yourself, then find someone of equal value. You want to be happy and you want a better life? Make a choice and start living like it. Make those things a MUST instead of a SHOULD. We always get our MUSTS but we SHOULD all over ourselves.
Where does all this bullshit come from? They are all beliefs and therefore are a product of your mind or better yet... conditioning. We believe that touching a hot stove with our hand will hurt. Break it down, it is simply math:
Hot Stove + Hand = Pain
Where did this belief come from? Chances are when we were a kid we put our hand on a hot stove, it burned, and we felt pain. What is another one? How about fighting with a sibling. Chances are you got in a fight with your sibling and you got spanked by Mom or Dad. So...
Sibling + Fighting = Pain/Wrong/Spanked
Both of these are products of conditioning. When you are first born you know nothing. A baby knows nothing and its curiosity is marvelous. They wan't to touch everything in sight. They are the quintessential learning machine. I would venture to say that children are inherently perfect. Children are great teachers of clarity; We should model them to an extent. A child will be upset one minute and pefectly content the next. Children don't hold grudges. Children operate with a clear mind; They don't hold onto emotions and let them purposefuly dictate their actions.
As we grow older we get corrupted by society. I doubt a one year old looks in the mirror and says, "I have baby fat and I won't be happy until I lose it." That belief is predicated on culture/environment. There are perfect cultural examples where being overweight is good. Have you ever seen one of those Buddha statues where he is overweight and happy? The media does a good job with conditioning. It is no stretch to the imagination why Happy Meals are called exactly that. You probably wont see your favorite sports star with a frowny face when they're advertising something on TV. Parental figures (role models) play the biggest role. They are the ultimate filter. If your role models put great emphasis on physical appearance, chances are you will to. The same goes with money, sports, religion, materialism, and hundreds of other things.
There are so many things that we have been taught (like the stuff in the paragraph above) that is just garbage. All of it corrupts the mind. All of it clouds the true nature of things. Nothing has any meaning except that which we give it. Pain? There are some people in the world that feel no physical pain. Sound? What meaning does sound have to a deaf person? Don't underestimate the minds ability to make sense of bullshit...
The mnid is an azniamg mhaince but, it in iletsf connat be tsetrud. You msut dineetrme waht is rael and waht is bsihllut.
Unisg the icndeblire pweor of the hmuan mnid, aocdcrnig to rseecrah at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mttaer in waht oderr the lterets in a wrod are, the olny irpoamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rhgit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whoutit a pboerlm. Tihs is bucseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey ltteer by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Don't take things at face value. The true nature of things only comes by asking the right questions. The clip below is a perfect example of that:
Lets take an easy one. Why do you style your hair a certain way? Some typical responses might be, "I like it this way", "It looks cool", or "The girls/guys like it." Those are all viable answers but, they are all crappy. So you formulate a better question: "Why do you care whether girls/guys like it?" A good response might be... "Because it makes me feel good." Why does it make you feel good? Now you start getting into the true nature of things. Questions like these tend to evoke anger in people because the truth hurts. It signifies that they are broken, that they aren't who they would like to think they are, and that a real change is necessary. As I stated in my previous blog, people hate change.
The mind is a funny thing. It will answer whatever questions you ask it. Poor questions will come with poor answers. If you ask yourself why you failed a test you'll probably get answers like, "I'm dumb", "The teacher sucks", or "I'm lazy." None of those answers are very empowering. However, if you ask yourself: How can I make an A on the next test? You might come up with answers like, "I'll get a study group", "I'll put in extra hours", "I'll study every day instead of cramming." You have to recondition yourself to come up with better questions. I saw a guy on the body building forum asking something like, "Why does being short suck?" That's another question that stems from all the bullshit above. Being short doesn't suck but, he's conditioned himself to think it does. Maybe he should ask, "How might being short be beneficial?" Lets see... you can climb mountains better, you can move weight easier (physics), its easier to look bulkier, and you can probably do "the limbo" better than a tall person.
Do you see where all this ties in? Bullshit beliefs, lead to bullshit questions, which lead to bullshit answers. What is so amazing is that the real truth can stare us in the face and we just ignore it. The conditioning is that strong, that corrupt, and has perverted us that bad. Think about it...
Millions of dollars = happiness
Movie star looks = happiness
Being famous = happiness
A house, car, wife, and kids = happiness
If all of that is even remotely true then why do we have shows like celebrity rehab? Why are so many people that have all these things so miserable? Why is someone like Britney Spears so unhappy? If all the above is true... why was Gandhi so happy?
Start getting rid of the bullshit. Become like a child again. Be aware of your feelings and what they are really telling you. Be mindful of your thoughts, less you become those thoughts. The habit/conditioning is the problem. All you have to do is be conscious of your thoughts and actions, and accept responsibility for them. Take out the trash and replace it with the truth...
Get rid of all the bullshit. Get rid of every limiting thought someone has told you or that you believe about yourself. Get rid of all the bullshit people have told you about who you are, what you can do, what you can't do, how you're suppose to be, and what dreams you're capable of and which ones you aren't. Become like a child again: clear, happy, and limitless.
Jesus was once asked, "Who is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven?" He responds by showing them that the way to greatness is to become like children. If you study Buddhism you'll notice the same truth. It's not a truth about religion but a truth about how to live your life. Free your mind.
Do you want the blue pill... or the red one?
Friday, December 10, 2010
What Does Happiness Mean To Me?
After contemplating what my first blog should be, i concluded it should have something to do with the title of my blog... go figure. If you're not familiar with the symbols used above the title basically says, "The journey is what brings us happiness, not the destination." I picked that quote up from the movie The Peaceful Warrior and it rattled me. Here is the scene below:
Now, i certainly didn't take this scene at face value. Like most things, i analyzed it to death. In the movie Socrates (Old Guy) never tells Dan (Young Guy) what happiness is, he simply asks, "Are you happy?" Dan responds with, "What does happy have to do with anything?" and Socrates says, "Everything!" There is a clincher though. Happiness is subjective; If i'm to have it, i must know what it means to me.
Happiness to me, is the self-respect i give myself when i allow my Mind, Body, and Spirit to work congruently at embracing life. I put self-respect in there because happiness is a choice. If you're not choosing to be happy, then you're choosing to be unhappy, which leads to suffering. If you YOURSELF choose to suffer, what does that say about your level of self-respect? Next, I chose mind, body, and spirit, because it covers all facets of the human enigma. Lastly, i chose embracing life; Taking whatever life throws at you and finding a positive meaningful purpose for it. It means, accepting the fact that what happens in this life is ultimately out of your control; Surprises are around every corner. However, you can control the meaning you attach to those surprises and how the mind, body, and spirit will act accordingly.
What value does the destination have without the journey? What do you cherish more: That which is given to you or that which you have earned? Are you proud of your degree or, are you proud of what you went through to accomplish and achieve that degree? Do you smile when you see yourself in a photo with a bunch of friends because you like the paper it is printed on? Heck no! You smile because that photo represents a moment in time, a journey, and you embracing life. The destination means nothing without the journey. It is the journey which adds to your self-respect or takes away from it. It is the journey that causes you to smile with pride or frown with sorrow. It is the journey you reflect back upon when you're old and grey laying in a hospital bed. Remember one thing though...
What you do during your journey isn't as important as how well you do it.
All of the above is great, but what does it mean in context? Take the clip for instance, Dan is embracing the struggle to the top of the hill to see what Socrates wants to show him. Ultimately, his struggle (throughout the movie) and his recognition of the lesson, added to his self-respect and strengthend his mind, body, and spirit. The journey brough happiness to him, and he chose to accept it. So many people in this life choose the opposite. Many people believe that they don't deserve it, which ties back to self-respect. They believe they are less than everyone else, less than those who are happy, and therefore deserve less. The truth is, as Socrates would say, "You will never be less than anybody else. Just like you'll never be more than anybody else." That being the case, then you deserve to be happy... you owe it to yourself. There is a great rule of thumb that says, "Anything you can do unhappy, you can do better happy."
Life is a river than flows in only one direction, forward. You can either fight the current and drown sorrowing in the past, or, let the current carry you and enjoy the ride. Embrace life, and choose to respect yourself by allowing your mind, body, and spirit to be happy right now. Stop sorrowing about the past, stop worrying about the future, and be happy in the present. All it really comes down to... choice.
Now, i certainly didn't take this scene at face value. Like most things, i analyzed it to death. In the movie Socrates (Old Guy) never tells Dan (Young Guy) what happiness is, he simply asks, "Are you happy?" Dan responds with, "What does happy have to do with anything?" and Socrates says, "Everything!" There is a clincher though. Happiness is subjective; If i'm to have it, i must know what it means to me.
Happiness to me, is the self-respect i give myself when i allow my Mind, Body, and Spirit to work congruently at embracing life. I put self-respect in there because happiness is a choice. If you're not choosing to be happy, then you're choosing to be unhappy, which leads to suffering. If you YOURSELF choose to suffer, what does that say about your level of self-respect? Next, I chose mind, body, and spirit, because it covers all facets of the human enigma. Lastly, i chose embracing life; Taking whatever life throws at you and finding a positive meaningful purpose for it. It means, accepting the fact that what happens in this life is ultimately out of your control; Surprises are around every corner. However, you can control the meaning you attach to those surprises and how the mind, body, and spirit will act accordingly.
What value does the destination have without the journey? What do you cherish more: That which is given to you or that which you have earned? Are you proud of your degree or, are you proud of what you went through to accomplish and achieve that degree? Do you smile when you see yourself in a photo with a bunch of friends because you like the paper it is printed on? Heck no! You smile because that photo represents a moment in time, a journey, and you embracing life. The destination means nothing without the journey. It is the journey which adds to your self-respect or takes away from it. It is the journey that causes you to smile with pride or frown with sorrow. It is the journey you reflect back upon when you're old and grey laying in a hospital bed. Remember one thing though...
What you do during your journey isn't as important as how well you do it.
All of the above is great, but what does it mean in context? Take the clip for instance, Dan is embracing the struggle to the top of the hill to see what Socrates wants to show him. Ultimately, his struggle (throughout the movie) and his recognition of the lesson, added to his self-respect and strengthend his mind, body, and spirit. The journey brough happiness to him, and he chose to accept it. So many people in this life choose the opposite. Many people believe that they don't deserve it, which ties back to self-respect. They believe they are less than everyone else, less than those who are happy, and therefore deserve less. The truth is, as Socrates would say, "You will never be less than anybody else. Just like you'll never be more than anybody else." That being the case, then you deserve to be happy... you owe it to yourself. There is a great rule of thumb that says, "Anything you can do unhappy, you can do better happy."
Life is a river than flows in only one direction, forward. You can either fight the current and drown sorrowing in the past, or, let the current carry you and enjoy the ride. Embrace life, and choose to respect yourself by allowing your mind, body, and spirit to be happy right now. Stop sorrowing about the past, stop worrying about the future, and be happy in the present. All it really comes down to... choice.
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