My Top 5 Favorite Quotes

I love me some quotes.  The best ones in my opinion describe a lifetime of knowledge and experience in no more than a single paragraph and then leaves you reevaluating your thoughts and beliefs about your life and the world around you.

1.  “Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens. Events may create physical pain, but they do not in themselves create suffering. Resistance creates suffering. Stress happens when your mind resists what is...The only problem in your life is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds.” - Dan Millman

I first read this quote after reading this guys book (The Peaceful Warrior).  This quote sums up a lot of what this Dan said in his book.  One particular scene in the book stands out.  The teacher, the student, and a female friend were having a picnic and it started to rain.  The teacher and female friend embraced the rain and laughed about it.  The student got angry because he saw the rain as ruining the picnic.  Then, he got even angrier because the other two weren't angry... worse (to him), they were enjoying the moment.  The student questioned as to why they could be so happy by the ruined picnic and the master responded with:

"Neither your disappoint nor your anger was caused by the rain.  The rain was a perfectly lawful display of nature.  Your 'upset' at the ruined picnic and your 'happiness' when the sun reappeared were the product of your thoughts.  They had nothing to do with the actual events.  Haven't you been 'unhappy' at celebrations for example?  It is obvious then that your mind, not other people or your surroundings, is the source of your moods."

This passage and quote stuck with me.  Many times i've seen myself cursing Mondays simply because they are Mondays.  How dumb is that?  But honestly, we as human beings will look for everyone and everything to blame for our current state of mind other then ourselves.  No answers will be learned that way.


2.  "There are stories of people coming to the Buddha and saying, "I am leaving your teaching because you have not told me whether there is a life after death or whether there is another world." The Buddha says, "Did I ever say I would give you the answer to these things?" His follower responds, "No Lord you didn't." The Buddha says, "Why do you think that I never said that I would give you the answers to these things? Because these are not the things you need to know. The thing that you need to know is how to deal with suffering. Because at this very moment what made you ask that question was suffering." - Buddha

The last sentence of this quote slapped me in the face.  The Buddha understands that these questions stem from fear, attachment, and desire which lead to suffering.  Worrying about these questions will not add a single moment to your life as Matthew said in his Gospel.  Worrying about it won't do you any good.  Infact, your worrying is the problem.  Find out why and fix it.


3.  "What does it profit a man to gain the whole world yet lose his soul?" - Gospels of Matthew & Mark

Simple-stupid is how i see this quote.  If you have to step on everyone and everything to get what you want, then you will have lost everything and gained nothing.


4.  "Nothing can resist the human will that will stake even its existence on its stated purpose." - Benjamin Disraeli

This is a quote i came across recently.  The wording of it is just perfect.  I interpret it as... your goals are only as real as your willpower to achieve them.  And if that willpower is as strong as your will to live then almost nothing can stop you.


5.  “When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series polygamy--until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.” - Tom Robbins

This quote really ties in with the first one.  We all want happiness and fulfillment but we never seem to give it to ourselves.  Yes i said, "give it to ourselves".  We all seem conditioned to believe that things and people will give it to us.  This is a problem i haven't cracked for myself yet, but i know that it is a major problem.  I mean where do you start with this one?  Drugs, cars, sex, toys, clothes, parties, money, fame, relationships, and on, and on.  Everyone has a vision of how 'badass' there life will be with all of these things... how much more happy/fulfilled they will be, and time after time we are proven wrong.  But we're all soooo stubborn.  We have been conditioned so much from birth to believe all these things will give us what we want, and when it fails to be true time and again we 'think' that we did it wrong somehow, or bought the wrong thing.

The Bible clearly states that Jesus relied on none of these things.  The Buddha relied on none of these things.  Yet, most of us would think it to be the end of the world if we didn't have a car, really nice clothes, lots of money, and many other things.  We're deluded.  Worse, most of us don't even question these obvious delusions.

The quote itself deals with what might be the most severe one.  I say that because it seems like it always has the most at risk.  You start mixing in kids, family, property, money, strong feelings, and you get some of the ugliest situations ever.  In this day and age more then half of all marriages end in divorce.  So flip a coin... .  Many of us believe that 'special someone' is going to be the solution to all of our problems.  That everything that pains us will be just whisked away.  Happily ever after right?  The problem is your working things the wrong way... just like quote two.  The truth is your relationship is most likely just covering everything up.  Eventually, that band-aid will fall off, old wounds will fester, and you will suffer.


Enough of that.  How about some Bruce Lee inspiration...

Just Be Real...

“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts.

With our thoughts, we make the world." - Buddha

I've had multiple incidents lately with various people that have just left me feeling kind of "bleh". If I know the truth, and you know the truth, then why bullshit me? Do you think you're ego can't take it? Do you think mine can't? Word of advice... I plan on seeing the sun rise tomorrow... so just go ahead and be real with me.  I will deal with it because I MUST.

I've gotten to the point where the words coming out of someones mouth mean nothing to me unless their character backs it up.  It as if... if you want to know the true meaning behind something you must take someones words, compare those words to their actions, and only then can you really ascertain the true meaning. 

The worst... I mean WORST thing about it is... most people have been so full of their own bullshit for so long that they've forgotten how to wipe properly.  I'm not immune to this, but, I can honestly say I actively try wipe myself once in a while.

Seriously though, just be real.  If you want to tell me I'm a jerk, then do it.  If you think I'm a sexy beast, then say it.  If you think I'm ignorant, dumb, a genius, wierd, etc... then JUST SAY IT.  What really stinks is you can't force someone to do this.  Yup, free will ... its a butt kicker.  All you can do is sit back and hope that a miracle happens.

I think I just find this whole thing annoying because it is just a waste of time really.  It's wasting my time... and your time.  Honestly, if were just going to sit around and toss sarcasms, lies, games, fluff, bullcrap, ignorance, and everything else that shields the truth then whats the point?  Do people really think they can have lasting relationships under those terms?  It's no surprise that 50% of all marriages these days end in divorce.  I'm going to take that statistic one step further:

• If you can't communicate with yourself properly... then you certainly wont be able to with your husband/wife.
• If you can't communicate with your husband/wife... then you certainly wont be able to with your friends.
• If you can't communicate with your friends... then you certainly wont be able to with strangers.
• If you can't communicate with strangers... then you have nothing.

So, the way I read that statistic above is that 50% of the people in this country are so full of bullshit that they are utterly and completely miserable because there is no truth in their lives.  Being real is the only way forward in my opinion.  And that starts with the self.

Here is a great movie scene that descibes some of my rant:

RANT PART 1

“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.”

- Buddha

LIFE IS STRUGGLE WHICH HELP US PREPARE FOR WHAT IS TO COME

A buddy of mine at work was telling me about how his friend was talking to a priest.  The friend said to the priest, "Why do bad things happen to good people?"  The priest simply responded, "Because this isn't heaven."  While I like the statement i think it could be better explained.  Bad things don't happen.  Events happen, and we as human beings love to attach meaning to those events.  I remember reading about a guy that got hit by a drunk driver.  What a terrible thing!  Yet, while recovering at the hospitals the doctors found and removed a malignant tumor thereby saving the mans life.  Praise the Lord!  In that case, most would probably say getting hit by that drunk driver was a good thing.  Get the point?  Events happen and 'OUR LIFE' unfolds based on how we interpret those events.

It's only until recently that I have viewed God as the ultimate parent.  If God was a parent that handed everything to us on a silver platter ... what then could we possibly learn?  We would be weak.  Life is struggle.  And thats Gods way of strengthening us for what is to come..  The scene below is from the TV show LOST and it says pretty much the same thing:

SELF-INTEREST REIGNS ABOVE ALL

Everyones actions are dictated by feelings.  Therefore, i belive everything people do is based off of self-interest.  Please don't mix that with selfishness.  Selfishness is being exclusively concerned with ones self without regards to others.  It is merely self-interest with an evil twist.  Cooperation is what i would describe as the ideal path.  Cooperation is essentially helping yourself and helping others at the same time.  The best of both worlds so to speak.  The way i think of it is, "If what i do is good for me and everyone else... then it is ultimately the best choice."  Below is a scene from the movie Coach Carter in which the young man recites a very famous quote by Marianne Williamson:



As we conquer our own fears and our own problems in what appears to be a purely selfish endeavor, somewhere along the way, our struggles have given hope to another.  We all benefit individually, and as a whole.


PEOPLE ARE BLINDED BY THEMSELVES

I've been number one on this list a few times!

You... what is you?  You are your interpretation of all the events of your life.  The physical world you create around you is a projection of your internal self.  That old saying, "You are the company you keep" is absolutely right.  The people you hold close around you speak volumes to what you value and believe.  How you dress, what you say, what car you drive, what you do for fun, etc. are all glimpses of you.  Somewhere during your life an event happened in which you interpreted specific truths as to how things are and how you should be.  If you saw a guy and a hot girl in a corvette you might believe that corvettes can score you a hot girl.  Likewise, your view of what a hot girl is most likely has something to do with events you reasoned to believe certain things.

I like playing poker.  It's actually taught me a lot of truths.  One thing a lot of poker players will tell you is that it is easier to see what is going on in a hand between two people if you're sitting on the side watching.  Yet, when you're the one in a hand... things get a little dicey.  Why?  Because we blind ourselves.  We start wanting to believe things that aren't true even when the facts stipulate otherwise.  We get in our own damn way!  So, if you want a clear interpretation as to whether or not you migh be doing something dumb ... listen to a few people who are on the outside looking in and aren't blinded by their own emotions, needs, and desires. Try and get a clear perspective.

We are all victims of looking foolish because we can't break free of stupid beliefs that are obviously wrong (see the previous paragraph for reason).  Common stuff:

• You've traded your car in seven times in one year and opted for a better one each time.  You're now 20 grand in the hole and things aren't better.  What did you do... you did it again for the eith time.  And guess what... things aren't better.
• Twenty pounds of muscle will get me where i want to be and ill be satisfied.  Nope... hmm... lets do ten more... nope. WTF?
• I'm going to win back my money this time playing blackjack.  Nope... sucker.  This time im going to win it back!  Nope... sucker.
• I need a line of coke because i feel like crap.  10-4 ... here you go.  2 hours later ... i need a line of coke ...i feel like crap.
• Those shoes will make me the coolest kid at school.  Yup... just like snorting that line of coke will make you uber cool and feel ultra great.
• Dude... this time its different with this girl!  Where did you meet her?  Same place as the last one!  What does she like to do?  Same things as the last one!  No bro... she's different!  Okie-dokie

My point is.  We're all suckers because we all have sucker belief structures to a certain degree.  And the only way to make progress is to constantly question them.  All the bullet points above stem from corrupted deeper beliefs.  Nothing I write in my blog that comes from my mind is without question.  I question all of it all the time.  The scene below is from a famous movie and the deeper meaning behind it is what i love.  There are two key lines that i think are really important... one at the start and one at the end of the clip.

"You must unlearn what you have learned." - Yoda

"Luke: I don't believe it!  Yoda: That is why you fail."



If what you're doing isn't making life better then the beliefs you've grown up with are corrupted and you must unlearn what you have learned.  Finally, if you don't believe in yourself, if you can't take the risk, conquer your fear, or take a leap of faith...well... then you have failed before you've begun.  If you can't commit with you're whole body and mind then it is also pointless.  As Yoda says (its actually a buddhist teaching), "Try not! Do, or do not!  There is no try!"

/end RANT PART1

Losing Weight

Someone wanted me to blog about this so here it goes nothing.  Losing weight isn't hard.  Ya, thats right, it isn't hard.  Insert Bertstare...

Some people reading this are going to say, "Well ya... it's easy to say that when you're skinny."  Honestly, I've gotten that more times then I can count.  It's as if all I do is go home, sit on the couch, and watch TV and the pounds fall off.  For years i've been spending time in the gym busting my ass to stay in shape so i can do the physical activities that i enjoy.  What is really interesting, I get teased a lot from the way i look, to working out too much (as if an hour a day is a lot), to what I eat/don't eat, and more.  It's kind of a social taboo in the adult world to openly make fun of people that are out of shape, yet, it's interesting how much flack I see people get for combating weight gain.  The psychology behind that is a whole different blog so I'll get to the real point of this blog and save my mindless ranting.

CALORIES IN vs. CALORIES OUT.  Thats all it is... i can't repeat that enough times.  You could eat Honey Buns all day if you wanted to and you will lose weight as long as you burn more calories than you consume eating Honey Buns.  One of my bosses that lost a lot of weight used to say, "If you don't eat like a chunky butt ... you won't be a chunky butt."  I had mad respects for this because he openly acknowledge what was a fault in his mind (didn't beat around the bush) and took action to fix it.  You can't ask for anything more.  Furthermore, he didn't do anything but limit the calories going in.  I think he lost something like 70-80lbs.

You're starting point should be figuring out your Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR).  It's is essentially how much energy your body consumes at rest.  There are various formulas for calculating it, here is the one I have used:

For Men

For Women

P = Total heat production at rest, m = Weight, h = Height, a = Age



So for me at 184lbs (83kg), 6'2 (188cm), and 27 years old my Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR) is roughly 1,966.  Remember though... this is just my body at rest.  Futhermore, there are some common things that effect your BMR:

Genetics - Surprise surprise.

Weather - Cold increases your BMR.

Pregnancy - You gotta feed another person duh!

Meals - Small meals more often will increase it.

Age - BMR decreases with age.

Muscle - Increases your BMR.

Crash Diets - I like to call them starvation diets.  They decrease your BMR.

Your BMR is really just a starting point.  You also have to figure in your daily lifestyle to your weightloss goals.  While my BMR is roughly 2000 calories i need to eat probably twice that to maintain my current weight because of my lifestyle.  You can use the Harris Benedict Formula to help with that:

If you are sedentary (little or no exercise) : Calorie-Calculation = BMR x 1.2 If you are lightly active (light exercise/sports 1-3 days/week) : Calorie-Calculation = BMR x 1.375 If you are moderatetely active (moderate exercise/sports 3-5 days/week) : Calorie-Calculation = BMR x 1.55 If you are very active (hard exercise/sports 6-7 days a week) : Calorie-Calculation = BMR x 1.725 If you are extra active (very hard exercise/sports & physical job or 2x training) : Calorie-Calculation = BMR x 1.9

If you take into account your daily activities by using the calculations above.  I would guesstimate that if you are the average person that does light activity (#2 above) on a daily basis, then eating at your BMR should put you in enough deficit to drop a pound a week.  So for me, when you factor in #2 to my BMR of 2,000 you get 2,750.  If i just ate my BMR of 2,000 a day i would be at best -750 calories a day or 5,250 a week.  Since a lb of fat is equivalent to 3500 calories then that is at best 1.5lbs a week of fat loss.  Realistically its probably more like a pound a week.

Now here is the big kicker and it's something that makes me bertstare all the time...

You CANNOT run to the gym and walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes and then go have Honey Bun and expect to lose weight.  I see this a lot at the gym.  Someone will walk in, jump on the treadmill for 30 minutes, and then they will go grab a smoothie.  Basically, they did nothing but waste their time.  The people doing this, i'm guessing, have a big misconception as to how many calories are burned while exercising versus what they're consuming in that smoothie.  Walking for 30 minutes burns around 200 calories, while the smoothie they are slurping down is at least equal, double, and possibly triple that amount.  Do the math... they're in for a dissapointment.

The best thing you can do is pick up some weights and mix it in with cardio.  I'm talking real weights ladies.  Not those pink 2.5lb things i see.  Trust me, you are not going to look like the lady below without some hormonal magic.

I hate hearing "I don't want big bulky muscles" from women.  Sorry, but you're worried about something that isn't going to happen.  At worst if you went to the gym every day for a year and mixed weights with cardio you will look like this:

Yes... i'm aware she has one of those dinky 5lb weights in her hand.  Trust me, its for show.  She looks good and that is from weights, cardio, and eating good.  Muscle is the key to looking younger and feeling younger.  Don't believe me?  Both these women are in there 50's... note the muscle definition...

I'm going to end my rant with a few points: 

1. Burn MORE calories than you take in and you will lose weight regardless.
2. Muscle makes it easier to maintain weight.

3. Muscle tightens and lifts the skin making you look younger.

4. Being fit and having muscles will make you feel younger.
5. Proper nutrition makes a huge impact.

Edit on May 31, 2011 - I just noticed that I put 'Burn less' ... major typo.  I can't believe I missed that.  Fixed now though.

Movement is Life

"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." - M. Scott Peck

     Change, a word that can bring great hope to people.  Hope that tomorrow will be a better day.  Hope that the pain and suffering will go away.  At the same time, the word also strikes great fear in so many souls.  Fear that doing something different than you normally do will only make the pain you feel now worse.  There is almost no middle ground in the concept.  People either wrap themselves up in it or shy away from it like the plague.  Yet, there is only one right answer... and that's to embrace it, to welcome it, to put it on your plate, gobble it all up and then ask for more.

Marcus Aurelius was Roman Emperor from 161 A.D. to 180 A.D.  He was the last of the "Five Good Emperors" and was one of the most important Stoic philosophers.  He wrote this:

"Keep constantly in mind in how many things you yourself have witnessed changes already. The universe is change, life is understanding."



     My eyebrow always raises when I hear people say things like, "I can't change" or, "I won't change" and, "This is who I am".  Change is reality.  It is the way of the world.  You don't have to work at change, it is here to stay, it is a fact of life, and life will move forward without regards to you.  The best thing you and I can do is adapt, learn, and grow.  My eyebrow raises to the statements above because to me they translate to, "I can't learn" and "I won't grow".  Once you've quit, given up on yourself, and lost all hope you've just relegated yourself to standing on the sideline.  It is the death of your spirit.  You've decided that enough is enough and you will embrace the pain and suffering deep down until the day you die.  The reality is, you get the spend the rest of your days stuck in the past, living with failure, blaming yourself, and being a shell of a human being.

     Below is a scene from the movie Rudy.  You could say this was the climatic moment in the movie.  Had this scene gone any different Rudy Ruettiger might not have graduated from Notre Dame, might not have been carried off the field by his teammates, might not have ended up as a motivational speaker, and certainly wouldn't have a movie made about him.

     Charles Darwin kind of had it right when you developed his theory on Natural Selection.  The belief that those that are the strongest and best at adapting will survive.  Human beings are a little extraordinary when it comes to this theory though.  We've all seen the people that have been given everything and have failed.  We've also seen the people who have been given nothing and succeeded.  For us, it almost always comes down to will power.  That belief in yourself.  That little whisper in the back of your mind that you have developed during your life that either says, "I can't" or "Bring it on ... I'll take some more!"  Nike explains the whole concept pretty well...

Change is constant.  It is a fact of life.  Nothing stays the same.  You can embrace it by growing, or become stagnant and slowly wither away out of fear.  Facing that fear is the only way forward.  Think about all the great people that inspire you and ask yourself what they would do.

My Fridge and Pantry

I've gotten a lot of questions over the years about what I do to stay in shape.  Interestingly, I haven't gotten so many questions about what I eat.  I find this interesting because diet is the most important thing.  It outweighs fitness by a large margin, and most people don't seem to understand this.  There are reasons why body builders stuff their body with protein and marathon runners slurp down gel packs instead of big macs when they're running. 

I was watching a documentary about Dean Karnazes who is one of the worlds top ultramarathon runners and found his normal diet vs. his race day diet interesting.  Day by day he essentially lived on a Paleolithic Diet of fish, lean meat, vegetables, roots, nuts, fruit, and excludes grains, legumes, and dairy products.  However, in race day you could seem him scarf down a few pizzas on a 150 mile run.  The reason for the drastic change is that the foods on race day are highly processed and easily broken down by the body.  He said to consume Paleolithic food on the run would cause gas, bloating, and discomfort since it generally lacked easily processed carbohydrates.  One of his races he consumed a whopping 26,000 calories.  As you can imagine, trying to eat 26,000 calories worth of meats and vegetables while running would leave a normal person in pain.  Furthermore, trying to eat 26,000 calories clean is almost impossible.  Yet, I can scarf down a Honey Bun for an easy 600 calories a piece mmmmm.  Shoot, I'd probably throw up.

Hopefully, the above is a decent explanation why diet feeds physical fitness and not the other way around.  So... on to what you will find in my fridge:

- Pickles (Claussens mmmmm)
- Eggs (Regular and Hard Boiled)
- Turkey
- Chicken
- Shrimp
- Mixed vegetables
- Frozen fruit (For Smoothies)
- Salad
- Almond Milk (I'm Lactose Intolerant ... ya ... go ahead an laugh lucky)
- Bison Meat (High Protein, No added hormones, all natural, low fat) 
      Note: Bison meat is one of the best things ever.  I would eat a lot more if it wasn't so expensive.

In my pantry you will find:

- Oatmeal (The one that comes in the tub and isn't highly processed)
- Beef Jerky
- All Natural Peanut Butter
- Honey
- Mixed nuts
- Popcorn
- Lactose free protein powder
- Organic gluten free cereal
- Flat bread
- Potato chips (can't help it)

A standard meal for me would be something like mixed vegetables with shrimp, toss in some mixed nuts, maybe a pickle, a glass of water, and a protein shake with some frozen fruit and peanut butter.

Feel free to ask me any questions.  I'm not an expert on nutrition but, I think I have a decent understanding of things.

My War

I have always been a little envious of those people that knew what they wanted to be from the day they realized the purpose of the question. You know the people I'm talking about; The ones that always wanted to be a sports star, astronaut, doctor, lawyer, politician, etc.. They never seemed to waiver, and always had steadfast focus and determination.

Why am I envious? Because making a decision to go after what you want is the hardest part. Once you know what you really want the focus and determination is secondary. These early deciders seem to be a small minority and the rest of us seem to wander aimlessly through life lost... searching for a solution to the void. It's a terrible way to live and yet so many of us do. Sometimes, this quest leads people to drugs, unhealthy relationships, self doubt, anger, frustration, and even death. Those that end up victorious seem to be the ones that dont settle and show true grit in the face of overwhelming opposition by the world we live in.

I've been on this personal mission for a while now to find certain answers. This blog is a testament to that mission. With the help of friends, mentors, family, philosophers, various religions, and my own thoughts... I'm slowly finding answers to my questions. This blog is my way of organizing those answers so that I may better understand myself. However, I like so many people have a tendancy to regress.

The part that I keep regressing on is the decision part. I know what I want but, deciding to go after it means dealing with the fear, the obstacles, the lack of focus, the how, and even sometimes the why. I saw a great quote the other day by Benjamin Disraeli that pertains to this topic greatly:

"Nothing can resist the human will that will stake even its existence on its stated purpose."

If you don't understand what that quote means then maybe this clip from the movie Fight Club will help:

Obviously the Fight Club scene is a little extreme but, it gets the point across. We are all at a state that we CHOOSE to be which is based on genetic (in the case above survival) and learned VALUES. In the scene above the man values survival more than the pain of school and certainly more than working at a 7-Eleven. So, what he probably anguished over for years... in a matter of seconds became a clear, easy, determined choice. Some people might say, "Choice? What choice? It was either go back to school or die. Thats not a choice!" Au contraire, many times throughout history human beings have chosen death over survival. While other animals may not be able to override their genetic programming, we as humans can. That concept has immeasurable power. It's what put man on the moon.

Those people that I mentioned earlier that I envy so much. They figured out how to use that power while the rest of use look like dolts. They've taken the gun to the back of head concept and applied it to non life or death situations. They've made the idea of not becoming a doctor, astronaut, lawyer, etc. so destructive in their mind that the thought of failure is unbearable. The rest of us do it, but, we're probably not aware of it and certainly dont know how to channel it. For instance, here is something a common person might say:

"I have to go to court today. I don't have a choice. If I don't I could go to jail."

Wrong, you do have a choice. However, you've rewritten the script in your head because you VALUE your freedom over prison time. The real masters in this world can do this for just about anything. It's called mastering your state. If you don't like how you're out of shape rewrite your script. Don't like your job... rewrite your script. You're afraid of something... rewrite your script. You have a script for everything, learn to manipulate it for your own benefit.

My past scripts have held me back. They've been dictated by fear, irrational logic, and compulsion for what I want in the moment. It's up to me to decide what I really want or else I might fall victim to this quote:

"The reason I fail, is because I trade what I really want, for what I want in the moment."

This clip below really sums up everything if you haven't seen it: