Why am I envious? Because making a decision to go after what you want is the hardest part. Once you know what you really want the focus and determination is secondary. These early deciders seem to be a small minority and the rest of us seem to wander aimlessly through life lost... searching for a solution to the void. It's a terrible way to live and yet so many of us do. Sometimes, this quest leads people to drugs, unhealthy relationships, self doubt, anger, frustration, and even death. Those that end up victorious seem to be the ones that dont settle and show true grit in the face of overwhelming opposition by the world we live in.
I've been on this personal mission for a while now to find certain answers. This blog is a testament to that mission. With the help of friends, mentors, family, philosophers, various religions, and my own thoughts... I'm slowly finding answers to my questions. This blog is my way of organizing those answers so that I may better understand myself. However, I like so many people have a tendancy to regress.
The part that I keep regressing on is the decision part. I know what I want but, deciding to go after it means dealing with the fear, the obstacles, the lack of focus, the how, and even sometimes the why. I saw a great quote the other day by Benjamin Disraeli that pertains to this topic greatly:
"Nothing can resist the human will that will stake even its existence on its stated purpose."
If you don't understand what that quote means then maybe this clip from the movie Fight Club will help:
Obviously the Fight Club scene is a little extreme but, it gets the point across. We are all at a state that we CHOOSE to be which is based on genetic (in the case above survival) and learned VALUES. In the scene above the man values survival more than the pain of school and certainly more than working at a 7-Eleven. So, what he probably anguished over for years... in a matter of seconds became a clear, easy, determined choice. Some people might say, "Choice? What choice? It was either go back to school or die. Thats not a choice!" Au contraire, many times throughout history human beings have chosen death over survival. While other animals may not be able to override their genetic programming, we as humans can. That concept has immeasurable power. It's what put man on the moon.
Those people that I mentioned earlier that I envy so much. They figured out how to use that power while the rest of use look like dolts. They've taken the gun to the back of head concept and applied it to non life or death situations. They've made the idea of not becoming a doctor, astronaut, lawyer, etc. so destructive in their mind that the thought of failure is unbearable. The rest of us do it, but, we're probably not aware of it and certainly dont know how to channel it. For instance, here is something a common person might say:
"I have to go to court today. I don't have a choice. If I don't I could go to jail."
Wrong, you do have a choice. However, you've rewritten the script in your head because you VALUE your freedom over prison time. The real masters in this world can do this for just about anything. It's called mastering your state. If you don't like how you're out of shape rewrite your script. Don't like your job... rewrite your script. You're afraid of something... rewrite your script. You have a script for everything, learn to manipulate it for your own benefit.
My past scripts have held me back. They've been dictated by fear, irrational logic, and compulsion for what I want in the moment. It's up to me to decide what I really want or else I might fall victim to this quote:
"The reason I fail, is because I trade what I really want, for what I want in the moment."
This clip below really sums up everything if you haven't seen it:
